April Fools Comes Early for Esquire …
Oh this has to be a joke … c’mon Esquire really  – you’ve lumped Rob into the same category as Russell Brand and Ed Westwick  in “The 2010 Celebrity Hall of Shame – Worst Dressed Celebrities” – hahahahaha – oh okay I’m still laughing – you’re a little early like 5 months – but that’s okay at least we noticed you.  How could I not share this joke with you all.  Here’s what Esquire has to say:
“Undoubtedly, he is one of the biggest stars on earth and, for a certain subset of vapmiricly inclined boys and girls [Maria:  Is that what they are calling us now? I love the political correctness of “boys and girls”], its biggest sex symbol. Not that Pattinson doesn’t try to dissuade them of it — we’ve yet to see the man step out of his coffin with anything resembling a comb so much as touching his hair. The actor has admitted he’s not big on bathing [Maria: Esquire how early 2009 of you], and he most certainly prefers rather ratty, mismatched clothes. Pattinson even manages to make the smartest of suits look disheveled [Maria:  I think Gucci (and the majority of the female population) might disagree with you on that]. If we could give Mr. Pattinson two pieces of advice on how to transition from tween heartthrob to legitimate actor and public figure it would be these: tuck in the shirt and wash that hair [Maria:  What?  Rob’s not a legitimate actor?  Well he must be good because he had me fooled].
The Suggestion: Get a new hair stylist — a messy, choppy main can be a signature, but no one should be remembered for sporting a rats’ nest. Also, tuck in the shirt [Maria:  Esquire I have put  some recent photos of Rob below just so you can see he’s pretty much had a hair cut since the last time you saw him ie. circa 2008].
The Takeaway: Looking effortless takes a lot of effort, so pay attention to details like grooming, fit, and, you know, showering. Start with a good haircut and work your way down.”
How can I get a job here, clearly their research skills are lacking – were you short a candidate and decided to include Rob just so all of us would take notice. Â I mean really I can understand the bathing issue with Russell Brand, but Rob – it was a joke you know – a bit like this article. Â So Esquire seeing as you are full of suggestions for Rob – here’s mine to you:
The Suggestion: Employ a real journo – you know one that actually does some research instead of making you look like complete morons.
The Takeaway: Food that should be wrapped with this article, but even then I think that’s a bit too good for it.
That is all.
Oh and for our viewing pleasure – here’s ratty haired, stinky and disheveled Rob:
Sorry Esquire but I like the untucked shirt!
Even Rob is amused with the comments …
ooooh – Rob in a bath
Thanks to Pattinson Online for the tip.
20 comments on “April Fools Comes Early for Esquire …”
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lids
Message to Esquire: what a load of crap (excuse my language), Rob in the same category as Russell Brand you git to be kidding me.
As far as I am concerned Rob is gorgeous however he dresses, and looks sexy whatever he wears (maybe I’m biased)
I agree @Maria, esquire get your facts right and maybe do a bit (or a lot) of research before you print an article like that!
That’s my rant for today…sorry
Intaglio_Girl
Did you notice all the spelling mistakes and gramatical error in the original document. At least Rob can spell. Sounds like a case of jealousy. I’m sure Rob will love to know he was on the list wirh Joaquin Phoenix.
Vertigo
Esquire makes the “Hall of Shame” for their moronic reporting.
LOL Maria, we can always rely on Rob in a bath tub as evidence. What say you Esquire? I say Rob rocks everything, especially the suit!
Maria
I know @Intaglio_Girl – I think it was supposed to be comedy – couldn’t possibly have been serious.
Maria
@Vertigo and the tub!
@lids- no need to apologise about the rant – you are talking to the master.
Michelle
Esquire – you are absolute IMBECILES!!! I have a suggestion for you – go get your eyes checked cause you clearly CANNOT see.
Same category as Russell Brand – hahaha what a joke!!
Rob looks gorgeous in EVERYTHING – the end!!
lids
I still can’t believe this article “shakes head”
LOL @Maria
@vertigo, you got me going now with bath tub Rob, I feel better now 😉
Vicky
I’m speechless. The stupidity of some people never ceases to amaze me “shakeshead”!!!
Oh BTW Esquire, Rob’s not a legitimate actor, that’s the best joke i’ve heard in a long time. IDIOTS!!!
Thanks Maria, i’ll take that ratty haired, stinky disheveled Rob anyday LOL!!
Maria
Me too @Vicky me too!
Michelle
Same here Vicky – any day!!! Am still shaking my head at this crap.
Carlisa
You tell ’em Maria!
Vertigo
God help us with the mood pic and that jawline.
Maria
@Vertigo – I suspect I will wake up tomorrow to zero bandwidth on my pbucket account LOL
Sonja Hodzic
For me it sounds like jealousy and definitely is not funny, but stupid. I agree with Michelle.
minette
so do I, Michelle, they are that funny word in spanish, hahahah!
Rob is so delicious, gorgeous and perfect….everyday, everytime, everyplace!
Roberta
I wonder who ever wrote that article?!! They sure come from mars and sees they haven’t been around in a while… Talk about pure stupidity! He’s simply perfect whatever he wears and they don’t get it, at all.
Martha M
Esquire must have a bunch of blind idiots that obviously have no fashion sense. Maria I agree with you I love Robert with his shirt untucked, well I love him in anything. He could never look bad. And Maria you’ve proved that with all the gorgeous picturee you posted. Thank you.
Carmel
The fools!
I’ll take him untucked, unbuttoned, unshaven, uncombed and unstyled any day.
Plus, he rocks a suit like no man ever has, or ever will again.
lise-lou
Couldn’t have said it better Carmel!
Really the world is just full of idiots! *shakes head*
Sare
Pfft. I dont read Esquire anyway. That article proves my reasoning as to why. Utter BS.
I’ll take a smelly, messy haried, untucked shirt Rob any day!