August 8th, 2012 / 36 Comments

And I use the word ‘speak’ very loosely.  What the hell was that dribble?????? Beautiful art like Cosmopolis is clearly wasted on people like you.

  • Sue
    Posted on August 08, 2012

    You summed it up perfectly, Michelle.

  • Maria
    Posted on August 08, 2012

    Speaking of reviews. I’m going to review the reviewers.

    Was that even a review. I got NOTHING from that except for the fact that Marg and David needed to read the book.

    For those who don’t want to waste time watching the vid – here I’ll paraphrase for you:

    “Cosmopolis – did you read the book, no I didn’t – me neither. You probably should read the book. I think you need to read the book.

    Movie was claustrophobic and tedious. And what about the choice of Rob Pattinson as the lead – yes he’s more known for being a vampire and now he’s a bloodsucking capitalist.

    I don’t think I want to see it again.”

    Actually what am I saying … they spent more time on Magic Mike. Says it all to me really.

  • Michelle
    Posted on August 08, 2012

    I’m still shaking my head. How was that a review? It was like a word spew that made not an ounce of sense.

  • Vertigo
    Posted on August 08, 2012

    Where do I get my refund for being subjected to that review?

  • Maria
    Posted on August 08, 2012

    LMAO @Vertigo.

    I would have walked out, but it was my house.

  • Vertigo
    Posted on August 08, 2012

    and why did they even bother? She almost said something interesting about Rob’s casting, I was curious to know and he flies in with his attempt at whatever the hell that was.

  • Sue
    Posted on August 08, 2012

    LMAO …… actually, @Maria, it’s pretty funny when you realise that your transcript is so accurate and that those 2 get PAID for drivel like that!

    (After Margaret’s comment about Magic Mike, I knew not to expect much.)

  • Michelle
    Posted on August 08, 2012

    LOL Vertigo, I want one too.

    Yeah exactly Sue, the fact that she liked Magic Mike said it ALL. She’s impressed with Channing Tatum but not Rob – WTF????

  • Vertigo
    Posted on August 08, 2012

    @Sue – I know right! Magic freakin Mike, who would have thought.

  • Maria
    Posted on August 08, 2012

    And @Sue that was from just watching it once. I seriously cannot believe I witnessed that.

  • Sue
    Posted on August 08, 2012

    hahaha … I don’t know you at all Maria, but just for a second, I had a pretty funny visual of you wanting to walk out of your own house!

  • Vertigo
    Posted on August 08, 2012

    Me either Maria. I’m going to go cleanse my brain with some Mexico Rob you posted earlier.
    Seriously, they couldn’t even mention something about Rob’s ability to pull this off? Confused. I guess not, since they found it hard going.

  • annie a
    Posted on August 08, 2012

    My reaction after watching that: ‘What? :|’

  • Maria
    Posted on August 08, 2012

    Well @vertigo I’m going to be brutally honest – if they struggled with the film they have no chance of finishing the novel.

    But don’t forget David was impressed with Channing Tatum in Magic Mike – i’m guessing from the commercials i’ve seen there isn’t too much dialogue in his scenes

  • Vertigo
    Posted on August 08, 2012

    LMAO Maria!

  • Ephie
    Posted on August 09, 2012

    LMHO! Perfectly summed by all of you. My question is Why mention the movie if they did not intend to give even a basic review?? They didn’t even talk about Cronenberg?? Clearly way over their heads….tsk, tsk, tsk.

  • Roberta
    Posted on August 09, 2012

    I’m really disgusted by people ignorance!

  • Rhonda
    Posted on August 09, 2012

    I wished I could have reached through my television screen and punched them both in the face. I saw Magic Mike and shook my head at their review…really….impressed with Channing Tatum’s role… wow…obviously they prefer the naked male body, and sexual dancing over Rob’s brilliant acting …and the way they raved on about the Saphires was way too much.

    I think the way to sum up their movie reviews is if they think it is good…. don’t see it! Maybe Cosmopolis was way too sophisticated and brilliant for them!

    I ordered my copy of Bel Ami from Amazon today…can’t wait to get it.

  • Trish
    Posted on August 09, 2012

    I read all of your comments before I actually watched the programme tonight and was bracing myself for something soul-destroying and horrible. Actually, apart from sounding very shallow and ignorant, they really didn’t add much to the critical debate about this movie. I think they pretty well represent the general movie-going audience, not just in this country, but in other places as well. Cosmopolis is not going to appeal to a broad audience – most will be baffled and bored by it as it doesn’t follow the usual ‘menu’ of what a main-stream movie ‘should’ be. It’s an indie film, and only the die-hards looking for something different are going to GET this movie and will be happy to use their brains to delve deeper into the profound ideas it is throwing up. I think if M & D gave it a ‘good’ review, they’d probably be inundated with complaints from the knuckle-draggers wanting their money back. They played it safe and came off looking dumb, that’s all. I don’t see it as a reflection on the film’s greatness, now and into the future.

  • lise-lou
    Posted on August 09, 2012

    Fell asleep and missed it *yawn* thats my review of their show.

  • Vertigo
    Posted on August 09, 2012

    Wish I’d gone to bed instead. Lucky you Lisa!

  • Jules
    Posted on August 09, 2012

    wow, thanks for your reviews girls. i won’t even bother wasting my time clicking the link O.o wtf?? you all summed it up perfectly….lmao at wishing you could walk out @Maria. priceless. asking for a refund too *Cackles*

    I can’t even with the Magic Mike comments from them..*rolls eyes*

  • Maria
    Posted on August 09, 2012

    And @Ephie I don’t think they even bothered to mention that this film was at Cannes *shakeshead*

  • Cindy
    Posted on August 09, 2012

    I dont like either of them never have never will. And their opinions about movies have never ever mattered to me. Two bob snobs I call both of them.

  • Silvie
    Posted on August 09, 2012

    What a pathetic effort! You’re right, nothing but dribble.

  • kess
    Posted on August 09, 2012

    So I take it DC must have snubbed them in Cannes.

    For I sat through their Cannes shows waiting for a mention an interview, something about a film in COMPETITION, and NOTHING.

    And now this, non review. So I can ONLY conclude = snubbed, and self importance totaly pricked and miffed, but not necessarily conciously miffed, but put off by their sense importance and being ignored.

  • Maria
    Posted on August 09, 2012

    Ooh perhaps you are right @kess

  • Val
    Posted on August 09, 2012

    @Kess, I think you have it! Seems odd for M & D, who do seem to like the strangest things (and many arty farty things I don’t like at all), to not want to name-drop “Cannes”…. Also I feel I have to be honest here – I went to see Magic Mike because it looked like fun, and so some of it was. I went to see Cosmopolis for a completely different reason, and was not disappointed in that either (AT ALL, ha ha). Oddly enough, both stories included some plot about the leading man wanting something more from life. And both movies were a lot darker & grittier & seedier than much of the audience was probably expecting. I can’t believe M & D looked past the exceedingly superior acting skills, plot, and depth of Cosmopolis though, compared to Magic Mike. It is as weird as M&D suddenly bothering to review a twilight film & giving it more than 2 stars. Really thinking Kess that you have totally hit the nail on the head.

  • silvie
    Posted on August 09, 2012

    I can’t believe they get paid for what they do…..still annoyed with them. That’s a perfect example as to why I usually don’t bother with critics…you know we’re all intelligent to know what we like to see. Back to work. Damn.

  • Sare
    Posted on August 09, 2012

    I don’t take 80 years old advice on films seriously anyway…..

  • Sare
    Posted on August 09, 2012

    lets try that again. I don’t take two 80 year olds advice on films seriously anyway. That makes more sense!

  • Carmel
    Posted on August 09, 2012

    OK. Can we stop putting Magic Mike and Cosmopolis in the same sentence please? It is doing my head in.

    As for David and Margret – they just went down a huge notch for me. To talk about the movie and not give an opinion on Delillo, DC or Robert seems pointless.

  • Maria
    Posted on August 09, 2012

    @Carmel – they need to read the book – did you not pick that up LOL

  • Carmel
    Posted on August 09, 2012

    @Maria – LOL. I know I’d like to pick something up… and throw it at them.

  • Sue
    Posted on August 09, 2012

    LOL @Carmel ….. Magic Mike & Cosmopolis, Magic Mike & Cosmopolis, Magic Mike & Cosmopolis………sorry, that was childish & uncalled for, but I couldn’t help myself!

    Seriously, next time ‘At the Movies’ reviews one of Rob’s movies, can someone PLEASE remind me to JUST GO TO BED!!!!

  • Val
    Posted on August 10, 2012

    Bahahahahaha @Sue! (& Carmel)! Yes Sue I think we’ll just let poor Maria or Michelle be the only ones to sit through it so they can post the 20 second “review” of his next film. Will there be a book for that one?! Maybe we could all pitch in to buy M&D a copy and send it to them prior to them watching the movie, so they don’t have to waste time debating the merits of reading the damn book, on air! My friend very much enjoyed seeing Cosmopolis with me…….and did not read the book 😀

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